““For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” - Isaiah 55:8-9
God knows your future. And your past. You aren’t going to impress God by taking time to improve yourself before choosing to worship Him. Take the time to go to church and learn the ways of the Lord. You will find that God’s ambitions for you give you life with joy.
Your ways are not the same as His. But you can learn to walk with Him and talk with Him. Start now. Don’t delay engaging with him. Don’t try to engage with him on better, or equal terms. Let yourself be known to His people. Walk in His Kingdom. Learn the paths of the righteous.